Wednesday, October 15, 2008

body issues.

Ohhhh GOD. I got those photos back, and while there are only 3 of me, I look like an enormous elephant-cow-behemoth. My arms are approximately 28 times the width of my face. I look like the Jet Puffed Marshmallow Man, only more pasty and with a shittier haircut.

No one will ever want to kiss me ever again. I am going to get so large I become bitter and I take over of Jabba the Hut (which would actually be cool because I'd get to chill in Star Wars Universe). I'm going to give up teaching because no 20-year-old boy is ever going to be responsive to a non-hot teacher. And that is what I am right now: A non-hot teacher.

Next time will someone TELL ME before I begin to look like I weigh 450,000 pounds?

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