Monday, September 22, 2008

1 percent fun!

I have become an empty flesh shell full of teacher. There is no human person left inside me. But that's actually okay. I think that's what teaching is all about.

PTP is boring. And Monday night is the ONLY night I would EVER want to stay home and watch television. So fuck you, PTP.

Alex and Alli called today, and I think that this is long overdue:

This is Alex and Alli. They're separate people, so I have to address them separately, but know that when their powers combine they form a Superhuman known only as THE GREAT AL and they enforce good and thwart evil using physical strength and awesome gadgets they bought using their mass inheritance from their collective dead parents. This is also the story of Batman, but THE GREAT AL is the real deal. Yes, Batman is fiction. Sorry, kids.

Alli (right) is the only reason I ever log onto GChat. She's really good at: Google Image Search, emoticon hearts, solving cancer, and Fair Trade stuff. She is also really good at playing the guitar in this kind adorably guarded way. Alli's voice sounds the way you would imagine stalks of wheat would sound if they talked. She has a really nice rack. Alli is that one person who never ever seems bored with my drama. I like her a lot and we might be lesbians together someday.

Alex (left) is probably the best person I know. He is actually definitely the best person I know, but I'm shy that someone kind of aggressive will read this and will confront me about it and will demand that I tell them that they are the best person I know. But it's actually Alex. Alex or his mom. But it's one of the two. Alex, like Batman, wears a cape. Unlike Batman, he is also really talented at basically everything he tries (Batman, remember, is only good at solving crime and winning women), which is terribly annoying. Right now he is in Chicago with all the other people I love doing incredible things and walking on Barack Obama's turf. As of February 4, 2008, his favorite ice cream flavor was strawberry, his favorite Rolling Stones song was "Melody," and his favorite baked thing was a muffin (isn't that a rather generic baked thing? I mean, really. There are so many different kinds of muffins!) Once we went to a ghost town together. That is how I would describe our relationship.

As for me, my favorite flower-based-solely-on-its-name is the gladiola; my favorite ACTUAL flower is the dogwood; my favorite dinosaur is the Anatotian, my favorite Muppet Baby is Fozzie, and my favorite Photoshop Image Filter is "Gausian Blur."

Still trying to get funner by the moment. I increased a percent right then by incorporating the words "Gausian Blur" into my blog entry. And one earlier for incorporating the words "flesh shell."

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