Monday, September 29, 2008

37 percent fun?

Today was the weirdest day ever.

Yes, I took in the rat. I put the rat in a box of spinach and when I came home the rat was still alive. And I gave the rat some water and some masticated peas (self-masticated!) and I named him Brutus. Satchmo doesn't care about Brutus because he appears to be perpetually near death. Brutus doesn't care about masticated peas.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The other most interesting thing that happened today was that my car exploded. MY CAR EXPLODED. I have had it BACK for exactly 3 days, world. All this smoke started coming out of the dash and then the whole car was full of smoke and flames were coming out of the hood and the dash got really hot and burned my legs. And this really sweet security guard tried to fix it but it was futile. Then I started crying really hard because it was FUCKING SCARY and we just put all this money into getting the car fixed and WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME EVERY TIME I NEED AN AUTOMOTIVE SITUATION TO WORK OUT?!

So then I got in Kristen's car and BAWLED. Just. BAWLED. And went to PTP and was a total bitch and BAWLED when Joe told me I was a psychopath. I just acted like a juvenile. I guess I must have decided that I was FED UP with trying so hard to pull myself out of the tremendous, sweeping mess that was the last three months, and in response Life said, "fuck you, Sophie."

At school the kid who lashed out at me last week gave me a-bordering-on-inappropriate hug. He is so closed off I found myself bragging about this to my co-worker, who said, "Good for you!" in a totally genuine way. And that is possibly the only time anyone has ever been wholesomely congratulated for being inappropriately touched by a 17-year-old-boy.

Satchmo had his first real-life WWE cage-fight with a cockroach today. And let me tell you: THAT COCKROACH WAS THE SIZE OF SATURN. At the least, it was a hell of a lot bigger than Brutus. Satchmo chased him all over the house and down the stairs and eventually out the door. Well, you win some and you lose some, but it's a rare day when you have an honest-to-goodness tie.

Also, Radar Magazine finally came in the mail today (along with a new issue of The Week). Which makes today an officially good mail day. I guess Clay Aiken is actually gay. Huh.

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