Some people get drunk off one glass of beer and are fun and normal. Some people (most people) DON'T get drunk off one glass of beer. But some people (me) get drunk off one glass of beer and are awful and mean to their favorite people and make them feel shitty even when it's BOARD GAME NIGHT. Next BOARD GAME NIGHT will be beer-free for me.
here is the story of how my parents fell in love. my mom made my dad pancakes, and then she wanted him to marry her. he was like, "woman, don't tie me down." so she said, "if you don't marry me, i'm moving to japan." and then she did.
my dad was okay for about five minutes. then he went to japan after her and proposed. they got married on a boat going to russia, wearing the kinds of outfits people wear in the sixties. they didn't know any of their wedding guests!
then they hitchhiked across europe for their honeymoon.
at some point, they realized they were so cool that they ought to spawn.